


Senator of Disappointments

by Jathis



Series: Senator Amidala [14]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Asexual Character, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Issues, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 03:25:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6594694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jathis/pseuds/Jathis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is very hard for Senator Amidala not to doubt himself</p>
            </blockquote>





	Senator of Disappointments

“Do you think they're proud of me?”

The question came as a complete surprise to Elweard. He blinked and looked over at his Master, tilting his head to the side. “Who, Master?” he asked, keeping his voice gentle and soft. He shifted a little on his knees, waiting for an answer from the Senator.

The pair sat out in one of the expansive gardens that had been built around the Senator's property, filled with brightly colored and sweet smelling flowers. They sat under the Senator's favorite tree, its branches filled with little blossoms that gave off a scent of honey whenever the wind through past them. A blanket was spread out and the two were sharing a meal of fresh baked bread and preserves with sweet tasting cordial.

“My family. Do you think I make them proud?” Ben repeated, unable to look at his bodyguard and close friend. Instead he kept his gaze forward, watching a small feathered animal bathe in a pond, drinking from his crystal glass to distract himself.

“Why do you ask me this, Master?”

He licked his painted lips, turning to look at Elweard now. “They have not come to visit me since the treaty was made and signed. Do you think I make them ashamed of me?”

“Master...” Elweard reached out and took the Senator's free hand in his own, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. “You know that your family has always been a busy one.”

“Too busy to care about their offspring as much as their own lives,” he muttered.

“I am sure they love you.”

“Not enough to see me,” he noted. He gently pulled his hand out of the other's, leaning back to rest against one elbow on his side. He drained his glass, holding it out for Elweard to refill it for him. “I disappointed Uncle when I ended my training because I did not wish to be a Jedi. I disappointed father by getting into politics instead of traveling on the Falcon with him. Now...now I've disappointed mother by making a treaty with the Emperor of the First Order instead of backing her up in her war with them. I am Ben Organa-Amidala; great disappointment to all,” he finished bitterly, draining his newly filled glass in a gulp.

“I do not see you as a disappointment. You've nearly ended the conflict between the New Republic and the First Order all by yourself,” Elweard reminded him. “Your friend Poe is not disappointed in you. He comes to see you whenever he can. The Emperor certainly has eyes on you and you for him. You've even gotten his little brother to come out of his shell, Master.”

Dark purple streaks slowly started to trickle down under his eyes, his make-up ruined as tears started to fall. His lips trembled and he turned to look at Elweard, his voice hoarse and choked. “Then why has my blood family not come to see me in over a year?”

He removed the glass from the other's hand, setting it down to avoid letting it break. He then laid down on his side beside the other, pulling his Master into his arms, allowing his tears and facial paints to smear onto the front of his uniform. “You are not a disappointment,” he whispered, stroking the other's braided hair. “I am sorry that your blood family have not come to see you. It is their loss.”

They lay like that for several hours. Elweard waited until Ben had finished crying before sitting up, using a cloth to wipe away the rest of the man's facial paints to make sure that no one else could see that the Senator had been crying. “I think it's time we head back inside. I am sure your servants are worried that you've run off again,” he tenderly teased.

Ben smiled slightly, sniffing as he rested his forehead against Elweard's. “Thank you, my friend.”

“Always.”

 


End file.
